How Being Gentle with Yourself Changes You (And How You Feel About Yourself)

Self-compassion is among the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

Being harsh with yourself is, well, hard on yourself: It hinders growth and causes self-esteem issues. When you’re constantly belittling your progress or comparing yourself to the other people around you, there is little to no satisfaction or joy. You’ll struggle to move forward because the mistakes of your past imprison you.

Here is how being gentle with yourself changes you and the way you feel about yourself:

• It makes you aware of your strengths and weaknesses. Instead of focusing strictly on the negative, you’re able to see your positives as well. You’re able to look on the bright side, identify the things you did right, and work on the things that you did wrong.
• It allows you to honor the person you are in the moment and determine the course of action you want to take in the future. Instead of getting lost in what you don’t want, you can zone in on what you do want. You’ll increase the likelihood of succeeding at something you have knowledge of or are passionate about. And, as you slowly create success, you won’t feel the need to beat yourself up because you didn’t do something perfectly.
• It allows you to fully learn the lessons that you need to be aware of for the future. When you immediately launch into berating and criticizing your performance, you’re not able to see the situation objectively. You’re not sure what steps to take next because you “screwed up so bad”. By stepping back from the situation and observing it with gentleness, you’re able to understand what happened and how to make things better (once the initial upset has worn off).

If you’ve been hard on yourself in the past for making mistakes, work slowly and gently with yourself. While negative self-talk is damaging, it takes time to change, and kindness toward yourself is key. Be kind with yourself, as kindness requires tremendous courage.

In any situation life presents to us, it can work out well or be the complete opposite. Learning to be kind toward yourself, even with your mistakes, makes the situation a meaningful one. And treating yourself the way you would a loved one or cherished friend helps boost your self-esteem. It motivates you to keep going, while keeping your joy intact.

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How to Work Through Feelings of Isolation and Loneliness

Isolation occurs when a person feels distanced from others either physically or emotionally. It often sparks feelings of loneliness which can cause anxiety and depression. Sometimes, when social relationships don’t exist in a person’s life, he or she may feel as though they’re not worthy.

If feelings persist over an extended length of time, it’s important to have healthy coping mechanisms available to help get past the sadness and disappointment that they may be feeling. If you need a productive way to work through feelings of isolation and loneliness, the following list of suggestions is a good place to start.

Give your inner critic a second thought

If you feel as though you’re the only one experiencing what you’re feeling or that you’re different from other people, try to remind yourself that you’re not alone in what you’re going through. Every human being craves validation and connection. Although your personality and individual needs are unique, many people share the same feelings that you do. The next time your inner critic decides to take over and tell you that no one will understand, gently challenge your thinking.

Be overly kind to yourself

When feelings of isolation and loneliness come up, respond with compassion. After all, denying pain or suffering doesn’t allow you to heal. Instead, recognize the feelings that you’re having and try to bring kindness and empathy toward yourself.  If the distance you’re feeling is geographic in nature, reach out to someone you care about by phone, email, text message, or a good old-fashioned letter. Let them know that you’re thinking of them and invite them to stay in touch with you regularly.

If you find yourself isolated due to low self-esteem or previous experiences with abandonment and want some empathy and support, contact Heart-Centered Counselors. We’re here to help you work through your issues so you feel valued, supported, and able to overcome life’s struggles.

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source http://heartcenteredcounselors.com/how-to-work-through-feelings-of-isolation-and-loneliness/

How to Find your Calm Place When You Get Angry or Anxious

Anger and anxiety sometimes occur when people feel they’re losing control. If left to grow, the feelings can encroach upon a person’s life and negatively affect their ability to function well.

Here are some of the things you can do to find a sense of calm when you’re angry or anxious:

Sit quietly with your feelings

Give them a chance to come up without judgment. Don’t think of a quick-fix solution to getting past them. Instead, remain neutral and observe the physical sensations occurring in your body. Are there areas that feel tense? What emotion feels the strongest at the moment? Whatever you find, bring a gentleness and care to.

Focus on your breathing

A technique that helps minimize physiological symptoms of stress and anxiety is deep breathing. It helps you to slow down, open up your airways, and inhale/exhale with complete focus on the length of your breath.

Ask yourself why you’re reacting anxiously or angrily

Have you faced a similar experience before? Is something or someone triggering the response from you? What is the worst thing that could happen? What are ways you could deal with the problem if it worsened?

See if you discover irrational thoughts, and, if you do, give the rational mind a chance to weigh in on the subject. By not acting in the heat of the moment, your brain has a chance to catch up with your body and respond accordingly.

Picture the tension melting away

Visualize a place where you feel calm and safe. Keep a mental picture of the dream location in your mind. Imagine that in order to fully appreciate the moment, you bring feelings of gentleness and tenderness to the anxiety or anger that you’re feeling. Take a few deep breaths and imagine the tension being released from your muscles completely.

If the stress-relieving tips listed above don’t work, you might want to explore meeting with a therapist. Scheduling an appointment for a face-to-face visit or tele-therapy session with Heart-Centered Counselors helps. Being able to talk about difficult emotions allows you to see their value and learn ways to cope with them that bring real relief.

The post How to Find your Calm Place When You Get Angry or Anxious appeared first on Heart-Centered Counselors.

source http://heartcenteredcounselors.com/how-to-find-your-calm-place-when-you-get-angry-or-anxious/