Are You Trapped In An Unhealthy Relationship?

Even when a relationship has begun to turn toxic (or was always toxic), ending things can be a big decision to make and a hard thing to do. You may still love your partner, despite knowing that being with them isn’t healthy for you.

If you’re feeling trapped in a relationship that no longer feels healthy, or have recently ended a toxic partnership, these tips may prove helpful:

Be aware that there is a problem

If you know that something isn’t right, but you’re searching for confirmation that your relationship is truly unhealthy, you could talk to a counselor to air your thoughts and get a professional perspective. Recognizing that there might be a problem, is the first, and perhaps most important, step.

Honor your grief

Ending a relationship, even if it was unhealthy, can be painful and upsetting, but it’s important that you embrace the way you’re feeling, rather than suppressing your emotions.

Think about what you may have learnt

Even if your relationship was toxic, the time you spent with your partner would have taught you many things, and most of these can be beneficial in helping you grow and pursue new relationships with new partners.

Distance yourself while you heal

You may be able to have a healthy, plutonic relationship with your ex-partner in the future, but be sure to allow ample time for you to be apart from each other before you move toward this.

Shift the focus back to you

Much of your time with your partner may have been devoted to pursuits that didn’t make you happy, or which shifted the focus to the toxicity between you both. Refocus on yourself and spend time pursuing things that make you feel good.

Be willing to forgive

You may be experiencing feelings of guilt about your unhealthy relationship, but if you’re going to move on with your life, practice being kind, understanding and forgiving with yourself.

Be truthful about the relationship

It’s not uncommon for one person to want to remain in a toxic relationship in the hope of being able to change the other person, but ask yourself if you can honestly do this, and whether this is how you should be spending your time?

Don’t shy away from seeking help

The challenges associated with ending a toxic relationship can be myriad, and most would benefit from some emotional support during this time. Talking to a qualified counselor can help you to process your thoughts and acknowledge your feelings, while giving you the tools with which to move on with your life in a positive, healthy way. 

Find help here: https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/couples-marriage-counseling/

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Signs That Your Child May Be Mentally Unwell

While it might be more common to associate mental illnesses with older children, such as teenagers, the reality is that children of all ages can struggle with their mental health, and spotting the signs is not always straightforward. Below are a few clues that could show if your child is mentally unwell:

Frequent mood changes or mood swings

It’s arguable that all kids can be moody, and this may well be understandable given the challenges they face both mentally and physically, but if your child’s mood changes rapidly or their attitude alters dramatically, then it could be a sign that something more significant is going on.

Eating disorders

Pickiness or fussiness with food might be something that we expect to see in children, but if your child is suddenly refusing to eat, or is binging or overeating, then these could all be signs that your child is anxious, stressed about or something or suffering from depression.

If talking to your child about what you’ve noticed doesn’t satisfy your concerns, then make an appointment for them to see your local doctor or counselor and get professionally support.

Misuse of drugs or alcohol

While usually associated with older children, drug or alcohol misuse can occur at any age, and although in many cases it can be attested to an experimental phase of the growing up process, sometimes it can be caused by an issue with their mental health.  

Abnormal anxiety or paranoia

It’s perfectly normal, even expected, that kids may display some symptoms of anxiety, just as adults do, but if your child seems to be increasingly fearful of things without reason, then they may be grappling with generalized anxiety. This is a common indicator in adults and children of a mental health issue, and it’s best to seek professional help for your child if you spot any signs of this.

Poor grades at school or college

Your child may not always be top of the class, but if you notice that their grades are falling, then it could suggest that something is wrong, especially if the fall happens swiftly instead of gradually. Be alert and monitor things, and as with any potential issue with your child’s mental health, get them the support of a professional if you’re worried.

Physical or verbal abuse

A child may shout and scream or lash out at others from time to time, but if your child is becoming physically or verbally violent on a more frequent basis, then they may be struggling to deal with their emotions and suffering mentally as a result.

If your child conducts this behavior in response to a teacher, parent or other caregiver, then this could be a red flag that means your child needs professional help. Any increase in violent episodes or verbally abusive arguments should be closely monitored and never ignored or taken lightly.

Children can be complicated, that much is true, but writing any strange or upsetting behavior off as being just a phase, or a normal part of growing up, can mean that they don’t get the help they need, and that they go on to carry these issues into adulthood. If you’re seeing a sudden change in behavior, or a gradual downturn that worsens over time, talking to a professional counselor can be the key to a turnaround.

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Do You Find It Difficult To Open Up?

Would you like to be more open than you are now? Do you internalize many of your thoughts, feelings and emotions, and shy away from sharing anything with anyone, no matter how close you are to them? Perhaps the thought of being more open makes you feel vulnerable, frightened and anxious? If you never challenge this perception, you could be missing out on the wonderful way in which being more open can help to relieve the burden of an emotional load or give you an alternative viewpoint of a situation that was causing you mental anguish.

Why is it so hard to be more open?

Oftentimes, when we choose not to be open with someone, it’s because we’re worried about how they might respond to what we want to say, and what they might think of us, so we choose to be silent instead.

Why should you try to be more open with people you trust?

All that we’re doing in remaining silent, though, is denying the people that we’re closest to, the opportunity to know us better, and for who we really are. We’re telling ourselves and showing them, that we don’t fully accept ourselves, and this is a real loss.

Who should you try to be more open with?

There is often an element of risk when we share our inner thoughts and feelings with others, but you can usually make a reasoned judgement as to who you can and cannot trust. If you talk to a close friend or family member for example, the risk is greatly reduced, and if you talk to a professional counselor, confidentiality is part of the agreement that you enter into (and sign), so you can be certain that what you say to the counselor, will never leave the confines of those four walls.

Is there a wrong and a right time to be open?

Definitely! That said, we may get it wrong from time to time, and that’s just part of life, but usually it’s possible to judge when being open might have negative consequences for us. If you’re not used to being open and want to try it out, find a calm, safe environment to be in with your chosen recipient, and depending upon the nature of what you want to say, try to express yourself freely and allow the other person to react without stifling them.

You might want to try it out with a counselor first, and you can even talk to your counselor about the difficulties you’re experiencing with being more open.

Being more open is all about trying to make what you’re feeling on the inside match with what you’re showing on the outside. Internalizing your emotions can alienate you from others, while learning how to express them openly can have the opposite effect. To learn more about being open and begin developing more meaningful relationships with others, talk to a qualified, professional counselor today.

Learn more at: www.heartcenteredcounselors.com/

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Some Surprising Ways You Can Benefit From Counseling

Have you ever been told that therapy or counseling is just for people who think too much, or for those who don’t have the mental strength to cope with their emotions? Some people say these things because they’re fearful of talking to others about how they feel, while others may genuinely believe this to be true. In fact…

Should you try therapy?

Those who have tried counseling and reaped the rewards may well say that we should all try it at least once in our lifetime, and expert opinion is the same. There will be a time in all of our lives when we struggle to come to terms with the way we’re feeling, or find that we can’t stop thinking about something, and that it’s beginning to have a negative impact on our daily lives.

With statistics showing that depression alone is one of the leading causes of disability and disease globally, and that billions of dollars are lost in workplaces every year due to this, it benefits everyone if we all do our best to get help when we’re mentally unwell.

Here are just some of the ways that you might benefit from counseling:

The positive effects of therapy are often long lasting:

For many who turn to a counselor for help, they discover that not only are they better equipped to cope with their current state of mind or deal with what they’re experiencing right now, but that they have been given the tools to deal with trauma or stress that may occur in the future.

Your physical wellbeing gets counseled too:

Physical symptoms are often triggered or made worse by psychological trauma, and the worse the trauma, the worse the effects, until sometimes the individual is unable to function in their daily life and may even have to give up work. Studies have shown that engaging in talking therapies can help reduce physical issues, and in some cases, make them disappear altogether. 

You can avoid future breakdowns by dealing with your issues now:

Repressed emotions can be extremely debilitating over time, and when they’re not tackled and dealt with early on, they can come back with a vengeance, months or sometimes even years, later. Avoiding your feelings rarely has positive consequences, even if the thought of talking about them with someone is painful and scary, and some go on to have breakdowns due to an inability to process events and emotions, or find that they’re unable to maintain healthy relationships with others.

Deal with your emotional state now, and under the guidance of a professional, and you might be able to avoid future issues that could be far more damaging for you in the long term.

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