Are Irrational Fears Ruining Your Life?

Most of us have one or two fears that can be loosely described as irrational, such as of spiders and creepy crawlies, or of a visit to the dentist. However, some people are so fearful of certain things that it can interfere with their daily lives and cause them exceptional stress and anxiety. When this occurs, such fears are usually referred to as phobias; a fear of something that isn’t necessarily harmful, but which still has the ability to induce intense terror. Some more common examples of this are:

• Agoraphobia: a fear of open and enclosed spaces
• Acrophobia: a fear of heights
• Aerophobia: a fear of flying

It’s true that most phobias develop during childhood, but adults can develop them at any time, too.  

What is a normal fear in comparison to an irrational one?

Most of us are fearful in situations that pose a real threat to our health and safety, and our automatic ‘fight or flight’ response kicks in; this is perfectly normal. But when the threat is non-existent or exaggerated, our fear can usually be classed as irrational.

What are some of the signs and symptoms of irrational fears and phobias?

Some of the most common symptoms of a phobia range from mild feelings of apprehension and unease, to a full-blown panic attack that you can’t control. Some of the physical symptoms are listed below:

• A racing or thudding heartbeat
• Trouble breathing
• Pain in the chest or a sensation of tightness
• Shaking or trembling
• A churning sensation in your stomach
• Feeling nauseous or lightheaded
• Sweating

While below are some of the emotional symptoms of an irrational fear or phobia:

• A feeling of being overwhelmed by anxiety, panic or fear
• A strong feeling of needing to escape
• Fear of losing control or going crazy
• The sensation that you’re going to die or faint
• Feeling as if you’re not present in your body

If you experience any of these symptoms due to a phobia, you might recognize the fact that what you’re feeling or thinking is irrational, but it may be beyond your ability to control your fears. The first step to being able to overcome your phobias, is to understand them, and a counselor or therapist can help you to do this.

Seeking professional help to treat a phobia

While self-help strategies can be enormously helpful for mild irrational fears, for phobias that are having a very real and negative impact on a person’s life these are often best combined with some form of talking therapy administered by a professional. If your phobia is triggering panic attacks and irrational behavior, then counseling can help you combat your fears and get back to feeling safe and at ease in the world around you.

Nobody deserves to live in fear, whether that fear is irrational or otherwise, and if phobias are ruining your life, help is out there.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/blog/are-irrational-fears-ruining-your-life/

Is Childhood Bullying Still Affecting Your Mental Health?

While many of us have experienced being bullied as a child, to write this off as just a normal part of childhood may not give it the understanding it deserves, as studies have shown that many adults still experience the mental impact of having been bullied as a child. Some experts even go so far as to suggest that when it comes to mental health, bullying is potentially as harmful as child abuse.

Some mental health problems that adults experience later in life, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD, may be relatively easy to recognize, while others may not be as easy to spot. Bouts of anger with no known cause or feeling inferior to others are just two examples.

It’s generally recognized by those involved in the mental health profession, that victims of childhood bullying often go on to experience symptoms of anxiety, compared to those who were not bullied, and often experience social anxiety; the risk of developing a personality disorder is also increased.  Depression is also another common consequence of childhood bullying, and if you recognize any of these symptoms in yourself and you have a history of being bullied, there may be a link between the two.

What about the more subtle symptoms of childhood bullying?

While someone suffering from severe anxiety or depression may see a counselor to help them cope with the present and deal with their past, for those suffering from some of the more subtle symptoms of childhood bullying, such as trust issues or low self-esteem, they may be less inclined to do so.

Bullying can also lead to other health problems, such as alcohol and drug abuse, social withdrawal and trust issues that hamper both an individual’s personal and professional life.

What can you do to help deal with past trauma and move forward?

If you begin to realize that sudden bouts of anger or low self-esteem may be attributed to being bullied as a child, then one of the best and most effective ways of dealing with this is through talking therapies. While some individuals who were bullied may feel that confronting those who bullied them might help them deal with the past, this is highly dependent upon whether the bully feels remorseful and apologizes; in some cases, a leopard doesn’t change its spots, even as it grows, and contacting the bully or bullies may do more harm than good. For that reason, it’s always best to seek professional help before taking matters into your hands.

What happened to you as a child doesn’t have to have a negative impact upon your mental health as an adult, and if you seek help now, you could begin learning how to make sense of the past, and put it firmly where it belongs; behind you.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/blog/is-childhood-bullying-still-affecting-your-mental-health/

Are These 5 Emotional Responses Present in Your Relationship?

All couples will face tough and challenging situations together, but if the following responses are present in either party, then the stress of whatever challenge you’re both facing may be compounded: 

Sentences often start with ‘you’

When beginning a sentence with ‘you’ when talking to your partner – especially if what follows it is going to be negative – then your partner may instantly feel threatened. Instead, try to begin a response by talking about yourself or asking them about their feelings before making any assumptions or challenging them.

Listening with an open mind

Sometimes, you’re only hearing what you want to hear, or automatically picking out negatives in statements. In these cases, your partner may choose not to share things with you. Listening skills are vital for the success of any relationship, and you can try to master them to prevent future conflict.

Emotions run away with you

If you’re quick to get angry or defensive when your partner talks to you about something, or an incident occurs, the tone can instantly change from friendly to adversarial, and this is unlikely to bring out the best in anyone. Learn to communicate your emotions better or walk away for a few minutes until you’ve calmed down.

Staying silent when stressed

If a situation stresses you out for any reason, and you avoid talking about it with your partner through fear of upsetting or angering them, then the situation might deteriorate, and could lead to you feeling isolated and depressed. Learn to raise issues and confront stressful situations in a calm, peaceful way is imperative.

Trying to dominate and convince to get your way

If you want one thing, and your partner another, then simply arguing in the hope that you get your way is a recipe for resentment. Instead, try to find out and understand why your partner wants something different, and come to a peaceful compromise based on mutual understanding.

It’s clear from the above five responses that learning new skills is one of the quickest and most effective ways of having a relationship in which both parties feel equal and deserving of the others respect. However, learning new skills doesn’t come easily, and if you think you might need help with this, then you could try speaking to a professional counselor (either individually or together). Someone who isn’t personally connected to you or your partner, can give advice and guidance that is unbiased and honest, and many couples benefit hugely from seeking their help, and often go on to continue their therapeutic sessions to keep their relationship harmonious. 

Get More Information at: https://heartcenteredcounselors.com

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