The Difference Between Enjoying A Drink And Alcoholism

Mind altering drinks (and plants and fungi!) have been in existence for centuries, and of course there’s a reason why some enjoy them so much. When enjoying a drink or two, it can sometimes be hard to know whether your drinking is within healthy boundaries, or whether you may have an alcohol dependency:

 

If you start drinking and find it hard to stop, you may have a problem:

For many people battling with an alcohol dependency, they describe their alcoholism as being like a switch that literally gets flipped after the first sip of a drink. They struggle to stop at just one or two, and often end up drinking far too much.

 

Do you constantly worry about whether your glass is full?

Are there times when you should be engaged in the conversation going on at your table, but instead you’re trying to (metaphorically or literally) catch the bartender’s eye for him to refill your glass before you’ve even finished; this behavior may indicate that you have a dependency upon alcohol, or at the very least, an unhealthy relationship with it.

 

If you regularly black out from alcohol consumption, you very likely have a problem:

There may be the occasional time when you’ve attended a party and drank more than you realized, causing you to black out, but if this is happening on a regular basis, then please seriously think about seeking professional help for alcohol dependency and abuse.

 

Is your life beginning to slip through your fingers?

If excessive drinking is beginning to prevent you from functioning in your everyday life and causing you to feel unable to take steps towards a ‘normal’ life, then talking to a professional about your problem is likely to help, and if you seek help soon enough, there’s every chance that you could quickly begin to get your life back on track.

 

Do you feel ashamed of the way you behave when you’re drunk?

While you may not always remember how you behaved after a long night of drinking, there will be plenty of people out there who will remember, and if you hear repeated reports about things you got up to that embarrass you or make you feel ashamed, it’s a good time to get some support to bring your drinking, and your life, into a healthier balance.

 

Perhaps the most important question to ask yourself if you’re not sure whether you need to seek help for your alcohol dependency (or if you even have a dependency), is whether your life feels happy and you feel healthy. If you wake up a lot of mornings with a sore head, feeling down and depressed, and constantly worrying, then these are clear signs that you might be doing more than simply enjoying a drink; you may be using drinks to cope with larger issues. If that’s the case, please seek the care you very much deserve.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/the-difference-between-enjoying-a-drink-and-alcoholism/

Analyzing Your Anger

Episodes of anger are perfectly normal for all of us, and they may be in response to a certain situation, or may arise due to an argument over something in which we feel passionate about. However, frequent bouts of anger or episodes in which the anger is uncontrollable, may may indicate that we need to analyze our feelings better and work towards reducing the level or frequency of our anger.

 

What is anger?

Anger is an emotion or feeling, and when communicated thoughtfully, does not usually cause others to feel attacked. However, expressing anger poorly (aggressively) in behavior and words can certainly be harmful to others and may even lead to physical anger and arguments. The sooner we learn to understand and accept that our emotions belong to us and that can learn how to best express them, the better we can limit any harmful or upsetting repercussions.

 

How can anger be managed?

Managing anger may be easier for some than for others, and we can either manage the situation we’re in that is making us angry, or we can manage our responses to such a strong emotion. If you’re frequently finding yourself in situations that are out of your control, then you may need to work on addressing your emotional responses.

There are a few ways in which you can learn to control your emotions, particularly anger, and meditation, self-awareness and other cognitive practices can be immensely helpful. For those who are not keen on such forms of therapy though, it may be prudent to try and shift the focus, from managing our emotions, to managing our emotional responses. If we decide that the behaviors we frequently display when we’re feeling angry are not conducive to peace and harmony, then we can to try and change them.

 

When do you need to worry about your anger?

Knowing when your anger may be something to worry about is not always easy, and some may wish to address and analyze their anger irrespective of whether it’s causing problems in their life.

But if you feel angry every day, or are struggling to control your anger when in certain situations and find that your behavior is harming others, then it might be time to talk to a qualified therapist.

 

Anger is a normal emotion, just like happiness and sadness, but when our emotional expressions begin to impact our lives in a negative way, then we need to thoughtfully address the issue.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/analyzing-your-anger/

Is Your Love Of Food A Destructive One?

The term ‘comfort food’ exists for a reason, and there is no shame in finding comfort in certain foods, in fact, it’s completely normal. Problems can arise, however, when we take this too far and forget that food is meant as fuel (and joy) for our bodies, not a substitute for heartfelt love or comfort. A destructive love of food can come about when it becomes your only coping mechanism, and the only reliable thing in your life.

Food becomes unhealthy when used as a frequent tool to help you cope with issues in your life, and when you’re depending on food to help pick you up or make you feel good instead of finding other ways to deal with your problems.

 

Make it common practice to turn to other, more positive things to help you cope:

We all know that food won’t make our problems go away, right? In fact, for many, comfort eating can lead to a whole host of secondary problems, such as weight gain and other related health issues. But we still enjoy turning to food when times are tough because it makes us feel so good, at least initially.

However, learn to turn to other comforting things to help you address your feelings, and you’ll soon get out of any destructive habits caused by comfort eating. Here are a few things that you could do instead of indulging in your favorite comforting foods:

 

• Light a scented candle and immerse yourself in your favorite soothing or uplifting fragrance
• Sit somewhere comfy and peaceful, and read a novel or good book
• Try writing down how you’re feeling in a journal
• Get out and go for a walk. Clear your head and immerse yourself in nature and the world around you. This often helps to give you a better sense of perspective and view of the bigger picture.
• Talk to a trusted friend or family member about how you’re feeling

 

• Indulge in a long, hot bath or shower. Use your favorite bathing products and unwind both your body and mind.
• Watch your favorite show

 

Try one of the above the next time your emotions begin to run high and you feel as if things are getting a little out of control. Recognizing your patterns of behavior is one of the first steps towards a healthier way of dealing with problems, and once you break the habit of comfort eating, you’ll soon find even more ways of giving yourself the comfort that you need.

 

If an unhealthy reliance upon food is taking over your life, it might be time to talk to a counselor about the cause of your discomfort, anguish or pain, before it develops into an eating disorder that could be much harder to cure. If you love your food and want to love your life, too, then rest assured that you can achieve a healthy balance, you just might need a little help getting there.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/is-your-love-of-food-a-destructive-one/

How To Stop Anxiety from Ruling Your Life

Anxiety and fear are two very common emotions, and there is certainly no harm in experiencing either, or both, frequently. Feeling anxious or fearful is a perfectly normal emotional response to trouble or danger, but problems can arise when our brains begin to alert us to trouble even when there is no threat. This is also a perfectly common and normal way for our brains to behave if we’ve suffered a past trauma, have a phobia, or if there is a family history of anxiety, but when left untreated, it can quickly begin to take over our lives.

 

Common signs and symptoms of anxiety:

While anxiety can manifest itself in myriad ways, some of the most common symptoms are sweaty palms and/or shaking hands, thoughts that race through our brains, shallow or quick breathing, butterflies in the stomach and difficulty concentrating, to name but a few.

 

If you suffer from attacks of anxiety that are (sometimes or frequently) controlling your life, then these tips for coping with it may help you. However, please note that seeking professional help is always recommended, and is often one of the best ways of ensuring that you deal with your problems in a safe and sensible manner in a caring environment.

• Don’t try to ignore your anxiety

Ignoring your anxiety can often cause it to intensify, and only when you’ve truly acknowledged it, can you begin to best address it.

 

• Express your feelings by writing them down

Most find this to be a powerful and simple tool for helping to combat fears and anxiety, and if you’re struggling to concentrate or fall asleep, then this can be extremely effective.

 

• Let someone else listen to your fears

Choose a friend, family member or even close colleague whom you feel will listen to you without being judgmental and talk to them about how you’re feeling. A problem shared really can be a problem halved, and once we say things out loud, they often seem less ridiculous or frightening.

 

• Work out your problems, literally!

It has long been known that exercise can be a great healer, and while the physical activity may be a fantastic distraction, the endorphins released should also help you to feel more positive about things in general.

 

• Get back to nature

Nature in general can have a hugely calming effect, so taking time out of your schedule to truly appreciate the world around you and the wonders of nature, can help you to connect with the natural world and see the bigger picture.

 

How do you know when it’s time to seek professional help for your anxiety?

There is no one answer for every individual, but if you’re feeling increasingly anxious or fearful every day and it’s beginning to get in the way of how you live and function as a person, then you may well benefit from speaking to a trained counselor. Remember that the sooner you do seek help, the sooner you could get back to your old self and begin living the life you truly deserve.

 

If anxiety is taking over, one important step towards an anxiety free life, is to acknowledge that you need help and to find a trusted counselor to work with. Once this step has been taken, you’ll soon be ready to stride towards a brighter, happier and fearless life!

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/how-to-stop-anxiety-from-ruling-your-life/

Learning How to Relax in Recovery

While it may sound hard to believe, one of the biggest challenges of my recovery has been learning to relax and just breathe. Having CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder) means that I’m often on high alert, stressed out, anxious, and hyper-vigilant. My nervous system is highly activated and just getting through a normal day can feel exhausting for me.

The first step to learning to calm down my nervous system and relax my body was relearning how to breathe. I had to practice therapeutic breathing exercises at least ten times a day. The key is to practice deep breathing when you are calm, so that you’ll automatically remember to breathe deeply when you’re activated and upset.

This may all sound like a no-brainer, but I literally had to reteach my brain and body how to relax from being activated most of the time. I reached a big milestone when I started doing jigsaw puzzles in my spare time. Focusing puzzles really helped me block out the never-ending tape of anxious thoughts and worries in my head. I just focused on the colors and the shapes of the pieces. I loved learning to tune out my anxious thoughts and seeing the progress I made on the puzzles was really rewarding in my early stages of recovery.

 

Some other tools I’ve used to relax in recovery include:

• Meditation & Mindfulness – Meditation was really challenging for me for many years. I was trying to turn off my brain. But I learned in recovery that it can simply be about focusing on my breath and the sensations around me. Now I can relax while doing nothing, whereas before I was always on the go and looking for work to do.
• Affirmations – Cultivating positive self-talk and practicing it is an ongoing practice.
• Noting positive emotions and being willing to feel them – Speaking back to my Inner Critic and letting myself open up to positive emotions is a daily exercise.
• Showing yourself grace – Learning to be kinder to myself was really hard at first. I still struggle with this, but I’m improving every day.
• Tapping – I learned this with my therapist, but there are YouTube videos on how to use tapping to find relief from anxiety.
• Coloring books and coloring pencils/pens – Like with jigsaw puzzles, I’m able to focus on the colors and the sensation of the pen on the paper. This tunes out my anxious thoughts and brings me some relief.
• Prayer – Prayer to a Higher Power or mindfulness about gratitude can be very relaxing and comforting.
• Aromatherapy – Light your favorite candle and smell it. Anchor yourself by focusing on the flame. I also have an aromatherapy necklace; I put my favorite essential oils on it and smell it throughout the day.
• Taking walks – Notice the sensations in your body and your feet. Feel the breeze on your face and take note of the world around you. I like to focus on the trees and the horizon.

I hope these activities and tips are helpful for you if relaxation in recovery is something you’re struggling with. Remember that it can take a while to see results from these practices. The more practice you get, the more you’ll find yourself willing to relax and let go.

The post Learning How to Relax in Recovery appeared first on Heart-Centered Counselors.

source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/learning-how-to-relax-in-recovery/

Learning To Not Let Past Pain Control Your Future Happiness

Most of us will have some painful memories from our past, including tragedies and experienced loss. However, for some, dealing with the hurt, grief and anger caused by events in the past can be a daily struggle, and may even be shaping the way they live and the way they interact with others.

Past pain and hurt can be mentally and physically exhausting, and while the individual may want to change the way they feel, they often don’t know where to begin.

If you’re stuck in a cycle of hurt and mental anguish caused by past pain, here are a few ways to begin taking control of your future happiness (which by the way, you’re very much entitled to):

 

• Understanding that you are capable of letting go of past pain

Whether you believe it or not, you can learn how to work through the pain that a past event caused you, and once you have realized this and truly embraced it, you’ll undoubtedly feel hugely empowered. Not accepting this can be a preventative barrier when attempting to take hold of your life and lead yourself towards a future filled with happiness, and void of misery and regret.

 

• “Positive Venting” is a powerful tool

There are ways to vent your anger, sadness or frustration in a positive manner, in a way that will help you to grow and overcome past pains. Simply raving about your grievances to anyone who will listen can make you feel worse, but… choose the right audience or the right method of communicating, and you may begin to feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders.

You may want to speak directly to the people that care the most about you, sharing with vulnerability, or you might want to pen your thoughts and feelings in a journal. However, whichever method you choose, it’s imperative that you share all of what you’re experiencing and trust that it’s okay to feel whatever you feel.

 

• Don’t get stuck in blame

While there may be no doubt that you were wronged or hurt in the past, and you may even have been entirely blameless, it’s helpful to understand and accept that getting stuck in blame can allow your pain and anger to control everything that you do. If you are blaming someone, that’s understandable, but also work to get in touch with the feelings beneath the blame.

 

• Keep Processing your feelings, and let forgiveness happen naturally whenever (of if ever) you’re ready

Those who caused you hurt in the past may be very deserving of your anger, frustration or sadness. Holding onto these feelings and refusing to process them, will not encourage or help you to move forward with your life. Instead, bring your empathy and kindness to yourself and to the root of your hurt, and treat yourself and your openness with your inner care. If a time comes when you want to forgive for your sake, allow forgiveness to lead you on a path to healing.

 

You are an individual, and who you are, is shaped by, not defined by, what happened to you in your past. Learning to heal past pain can be a difficult journey though, and never be ashamed to seek professional help. Sharing your difficulties with someone who is qualified to give appropriate and effective advice and guidance, may be a key first step in your journey towards future happiness.

The post Learning To Not Let Past Pain Control Your Future Happiness appeared first on Heart-Centered Counselors.

source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/learning-to-not-let-past-pain-control-your-future-happiness/

It’s Not My Personal Battle, But I Struggle With It Every Single Day – My Loved One Is Addicted To Opioids

Do you know someone who has been affected by the opioid crisis? Maybe you know someone who has unfortunately lost the battle of addiction. You may know a few souls who have struggled with substance abuse and have waited for their drug trials in jail. Maybe you can’t even remember the times you have talked to friends or strangers who share similar stories. I understand your pain and anger.

For me, it’s my sisters and brother. A few years ago, my step-sister lost a tough battle and before I could fly home to say goodbye, she was gone. The next year, my step-brother overdosed the night he was taken to jail. Death has been knocking on the door of my closest sister for over ten years. Thank God for a second chance with Narcan.

It’s hard for me to give words to the many emotions I feel – angry isn’t hostile enough, heartbroken isn’t sad enough. My sister has been on a rollercoaster, and I’ve been along for the ride. Wondering where she is, who she is with, maybe she’s hungry or maybe she is just waiting for me to call her. To save her.

I know now, after twelve years, that I can’t save her. And yet I don’t even want to type that. It makes it more real to read and my mind is still able to hide a piece of my hope. Like a tiny piece of buried treasure.

If you connect with any of my story, I want to you to look inside your heart and ask yourself – Am I OK? If you hesitated and immediately thought of your loved one struggling with addiction, I get it. You’re not the one personally struggling with substance abuse every day, but that’s not answering the question. I want to know if you, the one who is awake at night thinking about your loved ones, are OK.

I wasn’t OK. The days, months, and years passed. Jail visits, stolen jewelry, stolen identity, numerous unanswered phone calls. The roller coaster was still speeding through its’ highs and lows, and I was hanging on as a passenger. Then I found therapy.

My journey will be as unique as your own, but if you share any of these feelings and thoughts, there are people who can help you find a piece of your hope.

Ask yourself these questions below and whenever, if ever, you are ready to find a therapist you can trust and talk to, Heart-Centered Counselors will help.

Question 1 – Do you want to help save your loved one from an opioid or substance abuse addiction?
There isn’t a single thought I haven’t created in my head where my sister overcomes her addiction. I play it over and over again.

Question 2 – Have you confronted your loved one or encouraged rehab?
I thought a heart-to-heart conversation would help. Later I wished a confrontation with the whole family would help. I remember crying, and begging my sister to stop her lifestyle. I thought my words could be enough.

Question 3 – Do you ever worry that your loved one will overdose from substance abuse?
First the call that my step-sister passed away. Then the call that my other sister was revived from an overdose with Narcan. Most recently a string of calls, my step-brother now gone. Bad news thru my phone has created more anxiety towards a piece of technology than I could ever have imagined.

I could keep going on with questions, but I think if you answered yes to any of these, then I want to encourage you to take the first step to a path of healing. Reach out to someone and make sure you are OK. You deserve it.

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source https://heartcenteredcounselors.com/ny-loved-one-is-addicted-to-opioids/